January 06, 2011

9:36 p.m.

Gig tomorrow, no voice. I'm mostly better but still have "symptoms and snot," as I told Carol today at rehearsal. I can sort of talk, but shouldn't, still; I cannot sing at all. We will do mostly Carol's material. She'll sing a couple of my songs, and there's one funny rap song we do where Chris will do his lines, and mine also, in a girly voice, and I'll mouth them. It's the closest we could come to my actually participating vocally in anything. We certainly cracked ourselves up rehearsing it, so I hope the audience will find it funny.

Still quite congested at night, coughing a reasonable amount, and rather tired overall. But I made it through my three days of work this week, and one way or another we'll get through the gig. Then it's two weeks before the next one, thank goodness. I was thinking about the New Year's Eve gig -- I just about barely made it through, and it was the one window in which I could have done it. One day earlier and I'd have been down with fever. One day later and I'd have had no voice.

I also hope enough people come to make it worth our while. This gig is unusual in that it pays on a donation system -- they pass around a kreel partway through and folks can pay what they think the show is worth. We generally do well there but it all depends how many people attend. The presenter is a hardcore hippie trad kind of guy, very roots and old style, and I know we're not one of his favorite acts. We haven't played there in six years, in fact. So it's not like he's emotionally invested in our doing well.

I suppose I'm less emotionally invested than I would have been six years ago. It's all all right, I keep telling myself. However it turns out is fine.

My kitty is on my lap. We took a little nap late this afternoon on the futon couch in the parlor, in front of the pellet stove. I folded a blankie in quarters and put it over me, and somehow she got between layers 2 and 3 and curled up on top of me, all contentment and quiet. I love it when she naps with me. I look forward to the day when she also sleeps at night, and I can have her in my bedroom. As it is, she troubles everything, including me, every three minutes, so I have to eject her. Afternoon is a different story. We have had some very successful naps.

Karl and I are on the lookout for a French door that will fit the parlor side of my pass-through bedroom. It had a door once; it might be in my basement or attic. Several of the doors in the ell were removed at one time. But I want one with windows so I can monitor the stove, see if Smidge is there, etc. The plywood thing with butterfly nuts I've been using is a bit cumbersome. I said I needed airflow too, and heat from the parlor, and he said we could cut a vent above the door and even put a fan in it. Perfect.

Weary, now. Time to go to bed, let the sinuses adjust so I can breathe somehow. I'm happy, in my house. I got to see afternoon light in the living room today. That's rare at this time of year; I forget how wonderful it is, how it changes the room. The two lantana bushes I dug up in the Fall and placed in pots have had quite a bit of regrowth, and both are blooming now in these windows. It's just a miracle. The marigold I cut and had in a vase until it rooted has produced a winter flower. The other night I startled no less than seven deer in the big yard as I came up the driveway. They thrive in the frozen woods. I will go and dream of all these things.