May 04, 2008

10:30 p.m.

When I first moved to NYC in late 1982, I landed a roommate situation with two women. One of them was JW, a small-town Pennsylvania girl who'd come to the city to seek her fortune, which she hoped would involve learning to play the bass and getting into a band. Darned if she didn't do both, with no prior experience. She and I shared some really pivotal times in those years, and eventually we lost touch.

Well, she heard my band on the radio last week, and on a hunch looked us up to see if it was me... emailed me, and ended up coming to our gig in Pennsylvania on Saturday.

It was a great reunion, and possibly the greatest gig we've ever had, ever.

I sported my new, red hairdo and svelte physique. We were unerringly witty and suave, and ridiculous and loose. I know it's just the night; that some nights are on and some are off, but this was an answer to prayer and we had the most excellent time.

I drove to New Jersey after packing up, and got in around 1am. I'd called James, who was letting me stay over, to tell him to just go to bed and leave the door unlocked. He placed me in the upstairs "suite," where his son until lately has resided. Son has gone to college, daughter has moved out; new guest room in the attic. I realized finally that his lady friend was spending the night over and it might have been awkward for me to be in the old guest room, adjacent to their bedroom. Plus, anyway, the upstairs is much more spacious and nice. I crept in, creaky stairs and all, and settled myself gratefully. James and Lady said today they didn't even hear me arrive.

After not enough sleep, but good dreams, I rose and showered and dressed for my graduation. Lady was just leaving, but she tapped on the bathroom door and gave me a big hug before she had to go. She was taking part in a 5K walk for breast cancer today (she's a survivor) so she couldn't join us at the graduation. She said James was walking the dog, so I did my ablutions in peace and by the time I was dressed he was back with Mystic, giving me another big hug -- and she, lots of old-dog tail wags and snuffly sniffs -- and insisted on following me up to the attic even though she has trouble getting back down the stairs now.

Breakfast, and a djembe demonstration by James -- oh, he's so GOOD -- I'm going to have to find my aggressive side to play this drum -- and we were off to the Hyatt in Jersey City, where my bandmates would meet me.

Here is where Serendipity #2 occurred. We signed in and got our nametags, and I noted that they were having juggling entertainment. Cool, I thought. I used to be something of a juggler, back in the 80s. I dated a juggler back then and wanted to do everything HE did... hung out a lot in the loft with him and his juggling partner, who was the 7-ball national champion at that time... crazy, but what a time it was, and in fact the same era when I knew JW. So I set up the bass and guitar in the big room, for the song the band would do later... I met my classmates and teacher for the first time... and another graduating Celebrant who lives just 20 minutes from me (she took Weddings, no competition there, good) and, milling about in the hallway/foyer, I kept glancing at this guy and this gorgeous, fancily-dressed young woman... the guy seemed to always be glancing at me when I was glancing at him... and suddenly it clicked.

I gasped, pointed my finger at him, and cried, "Vincent!"

He looked puzzled and came up to me. I said my name, and his jaw dropped.

He was my juggler boyfriend's old parter.

I have not seen him since 1986.

He was the entertainment!

********

All this swirly movement, the Universe gently buckling and folding in on itself to bring eras of my life full circle. As we approached the hotel, James looked at me, smiled, and said, "I think it's so cool that you're graduating from something I got you into, at a place where we're looking at the same view as on the day we met." For indeed, we'd met at a hotel where he was on the board of an organization at whose benefit we were playing, and the terraces overlooked the Hudson River. I had been standing out on one of those terraces, leaning my elbows on the cement barrier, gazing over to Manhattan, and he came out and the first words he said to me were, "Don't jump!"

********

It was odd staying at his house where he and Lady are the long-established item now. She's absolutely great and clearly adores him. I'm glad; she can adore him in ways I couldn't, but now I cherish him as a friend. Still, it brings up nostalgic feelings in me. When we returned from the ceremony and luncheon (which was beautiful, rich, many-splendoured, and everyone loved our song), I was coerced by Lady into staying and hanging out for a while, and we all had this great discussion about movies and British comedy -- which James and I used to laugh ourselves sick over -- and I was gratified to learn that Lady is as keen on it as James is. They gave me a list of must-see movies. She showed me some of the photos she took on a Caribbean cruise last February with lots of music stars playing concerts every night, and it turns out she's quite a competent photographer. I was glad to spend some time with her, even to work through this feeling of, "I'm the ex-girlfriend here, I'm the one who broke up with him; I wonder if that's still in the room or if it's all in my head."

Maybe it's just seeing how he's successfully let me go that is humbling.

********

Happy at home now. I ate whatever I damn well pleased tonight, after weeks of mostly being so stringent. I'll start hitting the veggies again tomorrow. I just needed a night off. Watched Flight of the Conchords episodes on DVD, had some wine, and haven't done a lick of work. Hey, I graduated today. Mazeltov.