May 24, 2009

9:47 p.m.

Come on Baby, Let's Do the Twist

I had a long talk with Dar tonight. His kitty has been at the vet's for 4 days and isn't doing well at all. He's just stricken. Add to the hurt the vet bill, which at this point is $4,000 and isn't over yet.

We talked about House, and I brought him up to date. It looks like all our efforts just aren't going to be enough. He just found out his line of credit (against his Florida property) has been frozen, because the bank that owned it has been bought out by another bank. He can't get any more out of it right now, and we counted on that.

And his quarterly taxes are due next month -- another $4,000.

My family has been so wonderful and generous, and the emotional support they've provided has sustained me through a wild ride. But I can't see any way to overcome this last obstacle. It would have been a gamble every month anyway; I knew that. There were just so many things about how it unfolded that made it seem inevitable. I don't get that part yet, but I'm not stupid either. I know when we're beat.

I talked with Rose about it then, and we agreed that nothing more could be done. I sent an email to my realtor explaining these new developments and saying I didn't know what else to do but retract the bid. We'll look again when we're more ready.

I'm really perfectly fine about plan B -- looking again in a few months for something cheaper, or even next year if nothing pans out. Still I feel teary sometimes. I can't believe I lost House, after all this. I feel like I made a promise I couldn't keep. That hurts the most.