April 28, 2009

11:26 a.m.

Hot Day, Cold Soup

Eagle has come and gone. I continued to process my under-considered choice to say she could come a day early but still leave this morning. Some things became clear. Lightheartedness does not come easily to her. She is a self-professed "recovering serious person." I make allowance for the fact that she spent 17 years in a weird and controlling cult. Still, my attempts to make her laugh or lighten up are only marginally effective. She's still walking wounded. I can spend a certain amount of time with such a person, but it's stressful for me. Everything has to be so serious and difficult. When she left, I vacuumed. Her long hairs get everywhere. I had to reclaim the space.

Having said that, we had a pleasant time. I made sure to suggest some things we could do so that she would not be fixated on trying to get into bed with me. It's come to that. One very sexually needy person and one for whom it just doesn't matter. I made it clear, as I have in the past, that one of the reasons I've chosen not to have a lover or boyfriend is that I don't want to be obligated to be in some way intimate every time I meet that person. Plus I'm taking my relationship with Dar more seriously and paying respect to what might be in the future for us. Add to this the fact that dear Eagle has herpes, and I'm simply not willing to put myself at risk. For a day and a half I tried to gently steer her away from that track, and last night and this morning we finally had a more indepth conversation about it. It was better after that, after talking.

I still find it unusual that there's a man's body walking around my apartment wearing a dress. My mind keeps trying to do the right-left thing. Having never questioned my own gender placement, the area between male and female is still uncharted territory for me.

I learn from Eagle how much I take for granted that is easy for me.

We watched two great movies; I picked Monsters, Inc., which went over pretty well, and Eagle brought "Ma Vie en Rose," which was a beautiful story about a little boy who wants to be a girl, and the issues that arise in the family and community as a result. I recommend both.

We also went to Rose's so I could do a little laundry, and while there, walked over to House to look at the land. There was no intention to go inside. Once there I discovered that, since the day before, a realtor's lock box had been placed on the front door. Gulp. Marc and Angela did some research and it hasn't officially been listed anywhere yet. But it's apparently Son's intention to give it over to a realtor to handle.

I'm a little spooked about that, but by now I realize this is just part of the process and, oh yeah, I actually don't know how the Universe is planning to unfold all of this. And at the bottom line, it may or may not be in the best interest of all involved that I live there (I'm just saying), so this is the time for me to go all Buddhist -- open up to all possibilities and keep my intention intact but not be married to a certain outcome. If you also need to go all Buddhist about something in your life, I recommend watching this video. It's one of the most wonderful little movies I've ever seen.

Meanwhile, my team of allies is on the case.

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So. It's hot here. The heat wave has arrived. The forecast I have on my desktop says 95 degrees today. This is just plain weird. Of course I don't have air conditioners installed yet, so it's fan city up here on the third floor, and if it just gets unbearable I can go to Rose's and hang out. Yikes, though, eh?

I'm challenged to find good vegan recipes when Eagle visits, and I landed a superb one for cold cucumber soup. This is so easy and really worth sharing, so here it is:

Fabulously Easy Cucumber Soup

1 cucumber, peeled and chopped
1 garlic clove, crushed
1 spring onion or scallion, chopped
1-1/4 cups (300 ml) soy yogurt (could also use regular, plain yogurt)
3 T soy milk
2 T fresh mint, finely chopped
1 tsp ground coriander
salt and pepper to taste

diced cucumber & mint sprigs, to garnish

Puree all ingredients together in a blender, and then transfer to a bowl. Season to taste and chill the soup thoroughly in the fridge before serving. Garnish as desired with mint and diced cucumber.

That's IT, food fans. No cooking required. The garlic and onion give it a wonderful little zing, and on a hot day like this, with a four-bean salad dressed with olive oil and rice vinegar -- it's amazing.

We polished off the whole batch and if I can get myself out the door in this Sahara climate, I'm going to pick up some more ingredients and make another batch to offer to my family for dinner tonight. Serious yums.