December 18, 2008

7:45 p.m.

Results, for What They're Worth

The biopsy results came in already. Rose called me and read the pertinent parts.

The good news is, I don't have an ulcer; I don't have ulcer-causing bacteria; I don't have celiac disease. Hooray for all that.

I do, however, have flaming IBS and chronic gastric irritation from same, including reflux. So the downside of not finding anything more concrete than that is that there isn't a way to fix it, just try to manage.

I'll have a followup conversation with the doc about that, but what he handed me last time was a sheet listing all the gas-causing foods that people with IBS should avoid. I think there must be something wrong with the way it's worded. According to this flyer, "Foods that can cause symptoms (stomach distention and bloating) and should be avoided, include:"

Ready? There are three categories listed under "should be avoided."

Regular Gas-producing Foods: Meat, fowl, and fish. Lettuce, cucumber, broccoli, peppers, avocado, cauliflower, tomato, asparagus, zucchini, okra, and olives. Cantaloupe, grapes, and berries. Rice, corn chips, potato chips, popcorn, and graham crackers. Eggs, non-milk chocolate, Jello-O, and fruit ice.

Moderate Gas-producing Foods: Pastries and bread. Potatoes and eggplant. Citrus fruit and apples.

Severe Gas-producing Foods: Milk and milk products. Onions, celery, brussels sprouts, and carrots. Beans. Raisins, bananas, apricots, and prune juice. Pretzels, bagels and wheat germ.

Now, according to the wording of this flyer, ALL these things should be avoided. As far as I can see, the only things I can consume then are legumes, wine and coffee. Notice it includes "non-milk chocolate" in the list. But milk chocolate is out too because it contains dairy.

Now my logical mind wants to interpret this to mean that I can eat stuff in the Regular category but watch out for the other stuff. But I specifically remember the doctor saying I'd have to give up broccoli, which is in category #1. So this flyer will have to be included in the discussion. Because if I had to adhere to something like this I'd as soon jump off a building.

Gotta be something wrong with this.

Anyway I've been in gastric distress all day, from the minute I got up. Sigh. I thought I was so on the mend yesterday. This is the longest flareup I've ever had.