December 09, 2008

6:27 p.m.

You Put de Lime in de Coconut

Another day all about ME! It was butt-cold this morning when I left for my doctor's appointment. I kept hearing on the radio how it was supposed to get into the 40s, but it was still 27 at the bank near my new doctor's office. My new gut doctor whom I saw today.

My sister referred me to him, and everyone in that office absolutely LOVES Rose. I think I was treated like a special guest because of her. Of course, the staff are all her patients. He was running quite late so I leaned my head against the wall behind my chair in the waiting room and zoned out for a good half hour before I was called in.

And weighed with my clothes on, at nearly noon after having eaten breakfast and consumed several glasses of liquid, and not pooed. I hate how they do that. Like that's my weight?

Then into the room to have my fabulously normal blood pressure taken, and another 25 minute wait. He finally came in, apologetically, but it didn't much matter to me except for the part about having to stay awake. He was very nice and although I felt like I had to spill this whole long story as fast as possible, I felt we communicated the necessary things and he was even funny sometimes. He believes I do have IBS, and thinks I probably have an ulcer too. We decided on an endoscopy, and it's booked for Monday. Just like that.

He'll do three biopsies, checking for scar tissue at the top sphincter valve (chronic heartburn can do this), for ulcer-causing bacteria in the stomach, and for celiac disease farther down. I'm glad he can check for celiac. Meanwhile he doubled my dose of Protonix to twice a day.

If he finds something, he finds something and that's good. If it's all normal, it's all IBS and we treat it that way. One way or another there will be a plan.

So now I'm sitting around waiting for my stomach to get hungry and calm enough to eat dinner tonight. It's dancing a little right now.

The Monday appointment necessitated moving my followup with the homeopath to another day, so she can see me later this week. No improvement on the eczema at all. It's merrily raging away right now. Feels like salt on a wound.

In the good news category, though, I found a different yarn for Marc's Christmas scarf. The one I'd bought was unmanageable -- a boucle (that's a bumpy yarn) that was too thin for size 8 needles but impossible to see on smaller ones. I found a nice springy yarn in perfect colors to match the hat Rose made for him last year. All of a sudden Christmas seems pretty close. I must knit, knit like the wind!

I also got a shipping box for my guitar. I need to locate some packing type materials to stuff around the case -- newspapers would be good, but I don't get any; have to round up something -- and then there's just the excruciating pain of writing a check for $100 to list the guitar on this website, plus paying to insure and ship it to NC. Every time I spend money on any bill now it makes we wince. Haven't been this low in a long time. But it's making me aware of just how deep the poverty mentality goes. I'm trying to adjust my thinking.

Anyway by the end of errands I was famished, having missed lunch, so came home to eat and knit and read diaries. As usual I got some things done on the list and left some for tomorrow. I'm not highly productive these days, I find. There's still a big part of me that needs a lot of care, quiet time, unscheduled hours. Healing is big and deep. It takes a long time.