Nov.22, Modem Operandi

10:43 p.m.

This was a fairly productive, if somewhat frustrating, day. I tried to flow. I got whiney when I kept not finding what I needed at stores, or decided not to go to a certain one because the traffic was so bad. I get cranky when hungry, and typically in the late afternoon for some reason. Perimenopause. It's the reason for everything.

My DSL modem quit in the early afternoon. It was okay this morning; by one it had moved on to another dimension. No power, no lights. I called AT&T. They said Best Buy could troubleshoot the power adaptor to see if that was the only cause. I drove 45 minutes to Best Buy. I asked the Geek if he could plug in a working adaptor to my modem and see if it would work. He looked at the modem as though it was one of those room-sized computers from the Outer Limits show.

"We don't have those adaptors here."

"But AT&T said you would. They said you could plug a working one in to see if the modem is okay."

"We don't have those adaptors here."

(Pause)

"Okay, so do you have replacement modems? Where would they be?"

"Over here. (Glancing back) Wow, that one is big. They're smaller now."

Yes, my old modem was rather bulky. In human years it was just over four years old. In machine years, oh... maybe 80 years old.

The new one is more compact. It also contains a wireless router, making the one I bought to go with the OLD modem unneccessary. I'll keep it, though; when I live in a house I'll have cable internet, and the wireless router may again come into use.

I thought I'd wait until tomorrow to have them talk me through the setup, but in the end I did it myself. It was some trouble, but I figured it out finally and it worked. I'm back online with both the PC and the Mac. What a relief.

In amongst all that, I put 2 coats of paint on the remaining trim and have one coat to go. I can't wait to see how the living room will look when it's put back together. I feel like it's the first step in figuring out my whole life.

I have this camera I bought many months ago which I didn't like, and was going to put on eBay one of these days. But I kept putting it off. Today I found out my friend Red in Texas needs a camera to document her beautiful quilting work. She has no money. She lives more hand to mouth than I do. So I decided to send her the camera instead. To balance this out I will contact someone tomorrow, a lead I got, about selling my little Avalon guitar. He's in Nashville I think, so I'd have to ship it, but he has a really vital website for used guitars and one in this price range should sell fairly quickly... if I pray and send Reiki and think really positively about it. He takes only a small percentage, too.

Meanwhile Rose has a terrible, awful cold, the kind that streams for a few days and then just plugs you up so you can't sleep or breathe. I'm sending her lots of Reiki. She still went to the old house to work on it today, when she should've been in bed. "But the house won't wait," she said. I know they're eager to finish up the work and put it on the market. But I didn't point out to her that the house will wait. It is she who won't wait. That's a valid choice. But it is a choice and I think sometimes she takes the position that things are imposed on her that are, in fact, her decisions. It's something I'm trying to work on in myself... I do it all the time. Play victim of circumstance, when I could come up with some other options if I were willing to take responsibility for them. Tell me this when I'm cranky and sitting in traffic and I have to pee and I just had to buy a modem and I can't get to the fabric store and Shaw's didn't have goat cheese crumbles and it's ALL I want for dinner. I won't listen.

I think Rose and I have this in common. I want the world to be THIS WAY, and if it isn't I'm going to force it if I can, and if I can't force it I'm going to let everyone know how disgruntled I am.

********

It's very cold!! When I was painting the baseboard wood, I felt cold air gushing in between the planks and the floorboards. It wasn't even around a window. No wonder this place costs so much to heat. Well, at least there's always fresh air coming in somewhere.

It makes me wonder if there's any insulation in this house. No wonder the flies come in.

Tomorrow is Sunday; it feels like when school vacation went too fast. We have another week before we have to go to the midwest. We will not make any money this trip. We'll drive about 15 hours each way for a $300 gig. And in spite of the cost I do want to drive my own car. Ah, blessed silence, and having control over my travel environment. I ordered a beaded car seat cover. I borrowed one once that worked very well in my marginally comfortable driver's seat, better than the various cushions I've tried. So I've finally found one like it. It hasn't come yet but should arrive this week. I will bring music that soothes me and food that nourishes. I will try to be grateful. It's the last long trip until the end of January.