October 20, 2008

12:08 a.m.

A Tale of Sox, and Socks

I got a little job cleaning Rose and Marc's new house this week (aieeeee! It's several times larger than the old one). What a perfect opportunity to do laundry.

I watched part of the Red Sox/Tampa Bay game tonight but had a strong hunch at the beginning that it wouldn't go favorably for the Sox, so turned it off after a few innings. It turned out I was right. I do have these hunches about outcomes sometimes. Unfortunately the "undesired outcome" hunch is accompanied by a strong feeling of disappointment. I don't go very deeply into that... it's too... disappointing. I just skim over it and try to think about something else.

But I do also get victory hunches, and I won't talk about any of them because I guess I'm a wee bit superstitious.

In Weird Old Lady Evidence news, I accidentally rubbed dandruff shampoo into my feet this morning thinking it was lotion. I thought it was taking a little time to sink in, and then I noticed the word "clean" on the back of the bottle. Lotions don't usually talk about "clean" on the back. Closer examination informed me that I'd picked it up from somewhere else and, thinking it was lotion, put it with the others. I was on the second foot by then, and had put a sock over the first foot so I wouldn't get "lotion" on the floor. I hobbled over to the sink and washed my feet off and started over. In a small snit I tossed the dandruff shampoo into the trash. I haven't used it in forever and the clutter in here is annoying me, so I just tossed it. However this goes against two of my persnickety rules -- don't waste stuff, and recycle all plastic possible. I may fish it out of the trash.

But I also dropped my brush behind and under a big shelf unit, which caused much cursing until I realized it wasn't that heavy to move, and later I dropped a little flashlight behind the headboard of my bed, which is not open to the under-bed area, and IS impossible to move. I fetched the dust mop and used the handle to slide it out sideways. Instant cursing over little accidents like this is evidence of stress. So is eating everything in sight that I think I can get away with all evening. I'm a little raw. But I think it's good; I'm being caused to look at angers (even anger I thought had moved on) and maybe that'll make my eczema clear up, even though the rest of the world seems to think that's a bunch of bunk. Allopathic medicine, I fart in your general direction. You don't know squat about eczema, so you are not allowed an opinion.

Meanwhile I bought a homeopathic remedy from Wholefoods that I'd researched online. Here is how I bought it: put it on the narrow bars of my grocery cart by the handles. Forgot about it while checking out. Left cart outside. Drove partway home. Remembered vial of medicine that I hadn't paid for and had left outside in cart. Drove (cursing) back to Wholefoods. Cart not there. Walked up from parking lot and, just in front of door, saw vial on ground.

So someone had moved the cart and the vial had bounced out. I picked it up, took it inside, and paid for it.

All the while I was thinking of Chris and how chances are that he wouldn't have paid for it. He always wants to get away with a little something if he thinks he won't get caught. We've all discussed this before and he gets very defensive: "It's just a little soda!" "It's not my fault they gave me too much change," or whatever it is. But it's the entitlement mentality I don't understand, the lack of moral sense about taking something that simply isn't his, for which he hasn't traded fairly. His life is not so full of lack that he needs to do this. It's one of a number of recurring things that bothers me about him. I'm not going to go to him and present a list; it's not my job (or my right) to try to make him a different person or point out what I perceive to be his shortcomings. But in my secret heart I feel I would be glad to not have to witness and deal with these things if I didn't have to tour with him.

And I know this thing bugs Carol, too, but for all her protesting she is impotent to make any impression, as with so many things about him.

Not trying to bash, just working it out.

And now it's bedtime. One of my two favorite times of day.