December 20, 2007

12:14 p.m.

O Tannenbaum

I got a tree! It's plastic and metal and arrestingly symmetrical. I used to be a purist about live trees, but then never got one anyway because of being away, the mess, having to dispose of it... a couple of years I got small potted trees but then had to find light for them til Spring when I had to find a place to plant them or someone to give them to. That seemed like too much commitment over too long a period. So I've completely solved the problem.

My fake tree is about 6-1/2 feet tall and unfolded out of a surprisingly narrow box. All the wee branches are bendable so I can exercise a satisfying amount of control over their arrangement. It arrived with tiny lights already attached. The bottom branches start about two feet off the ground, so in case anyone drops by with large, festively wrapped packages addressed to me, they will fit easily underneath.

By scouring the dregs of places such as Kohl's, CVS and T.J. Maxx, I was able to find extremely affordable, smallish ornaments and garlands with which to festoon my tree. These include, among other things, sparkly gold harps, a gold bell ("every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings!"), variously colored glass spheres, a couple of dreidls and a whole collection of small animals in canoes. I don't know what small animals in canoes have to do with Christmas, but they were cute and small and one of them was a Santa in a canoe, so I knew I had the right holiday. Finally, I took my five stuffed mice and placed them on various branches, and topped the tree with a tatted angel my sister made about sixty years ago. It is a magnificent tree.

The only thing it lacks is scent, so I bought a pine candle which smells very vaguely like something distantly related to an evergreen.

Now, as for the commitment issue, I realize that this is a lot of work to undo at the end of the season. It isn't right to keep a Christmas tree up long past Christmas. I'm sure my next door neighbors do; they still have bedraggled Hallowe'en decorations hanging from their apple tree in the yard. (This is the yard where they never emptied or cleaned the pool this year, or even covered it, so it's a frozen, sludgy mire right now. There is also a mattress on the roof of the one shed still standing back there, which I'm almost certain wasn't there last winter.) Where was I? Oh, yes. The basement being what it is (filthy, cramped and dark), I anticipate reluctance concerning storing this tree come January -- nevermind the difficulty of folding it all up the way it was before and getting it back into the box. Removing and storing the ornaments will be hard enough. So I have a brilliant plan that will reduce the amount of trouble involved AND afford me a number of creative projects throughout the year.

The plan is to change the tree decor with the seasons. Maybe in January and February it'll be a keep warm motif, where I'll knit tiny mittens, hats and scarves to tuck into the branches. (And don't forget hearts for Valentine's Day.) Spring? Birds' nests with little blue eggs, crocuses made out of Sculpey, Easter bunnies. Summer... rose and daffodil garlands, daisy chains, maybe a baseball theme. Fall can bring colored leaves, marshmallows (reminiscent of cookouts), miniature Indian corns and construction-paper turkeys made by tracing my hand with a pencil. Then we're back to Christmas again.

All I'll really need to do is dust it from time to time. And of course I have to find a place for the box.

I would welcome any other seasonal suggestions.

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Now that I've finished my niece's "family tree" project, I feel freed up to get on with some other things I've been neglecting. Today I am determined to go back to the gym and raise my heart rate a while. Rose suggested I do brisk WALKS around the track for a few sessions before I run again; she is wise, as always. Then I'll sit in the laundromat a while and give thanks for the mechanical age as I listen to my iPod while big metal boxes clean my clothes for me.

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My friend from New Hampshire, whom I have possibly mentioned before but whose nome de plume I cannot remember so whom I will now and forever call Normandy for reasons making more sense to me than to you (big breath), called me last week and announced, "I've been suspended!" From school. Where she teaches. Apparently there was a big brou-ha-ha that erupted as a result of a joke perpetrated by one of her students, and in which she merrily participated. It was all fun and laughs until someone went and got the yearbook camera.

But I've written enough for today and I simply have to get to the gym and the laundromat. I'll tell the rest of the story next time.