December 05, 2007

1:59 p.m.

A Most Bizarre and Beautiful Dream

I flew again, a lot. I was learning how to turn myself horizontally to go faster -- and, this time, higher. For the first time ever in a flying dream, I was above clouds, looking down on a distant landscape. This lasted for some awed moments before it transitioned. Flying became a pursuit for sexual gratification, and none of the women conveniently passing by was wearing a bra. Everybody had fetchingly protruding nipples. It was a celebration of breasts in sweaters. I touched one here, whispered something there. Held onto one woman long enough to come in my sleep. Next I was standing at a mirror, either changing clothes or washing my face or some such thing, when I noticed one of my breasts looked odd, pendulous, leaflike. I straightened up to find that my breasts were the shape and color of two bunches of wine grapes. Flesh still, and fragile -- they hung from their thin flesh-stems, and I thought how painful it would be if that broke or was pulled. I was afraid for their fragility but also saw that they were beautiful -- I was like a walking vineyard, ripe and promising and deeply colored. I thought I could live like this all right. I wondered if anyone else had them... there was a brief snippet after that of someone else who did, talking to me, but that's lost now.

I would like to think of my aging womanhood as beautiful and fragile, instead of frightening and painful... I've been thinking about it so much lately, watching the lines deepen, that must be what's up.

Ah, me.

A Couple of Hours Later

We played a Unity Church in Florida early this year and they had us write some kind of letter to God, a prayer, something, that they said they�d mail to us at Christmas time. I completely forgot about it.

It came. I didn�t recognize the handwriting at first, until I realized it was mine.

�Dear God,

I remember to be awake. I remember that the present is so beautiful. I remember why angels, who live in a state of unchanging praise, look at us in wonder, with our changing emotions and relationships, our passions and struggles and raggedness and love, our determination, the way lighting one release by the fire of the last one unites us and empowers us. I remember that I can find solutions. I remember that Divine guidance is always available. I love my life, the world and the passing time.�