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April 23, 2006

10:29 p.m.

Blue Sunday

It rained for the first time all Spring; really rained, a continuous drizzle, soaking everything including the neighbor's dirty pool, where the cover came off months ago and crumpled at the bottom, where leaves have fallen, where their kids' balls have bounced and are held captive, where dirt and bird poop have collected. The sound was so strange to me, the rain coming down outside, that I kept getting distracted and unsettled by it. I was inexplicably sad all day. I did nothing on my "ought to do" list. I knitted and read and listened to spacey music, and made placemats for my new table which took much longer than I expected. All day I seemed to wait for a phone call from someone I really want to talk to, though I don't know who that is.

There will be time tomorrow to do the practicing I skipped today. Everything is still on schedule, except that I'm not happy and I don't know why.


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