February 18, 2006

9:19 p.m.

Where Have You Been?

My recent negligence of favorite diaries here is unprecedented. I haven't been keeping up with my kids, my sibs, my pen pals overseas. I'm a little behind. BUT... never without good reason.

No, I haven't frozen solid on the way to my car in this week's sudden and cruel return to Winter (it's supposed to be FOUR degrees tonight). Nor have I met a dashing and well-read Scottish piper and run off over the brae with him to Brigadoon. Rather I have been, as Mehiel so aptly put it, "indulging my consummate geekery."

That's pronounced, "Poetry Books."

With an s.

Buoyed and kicked slightly in the ass by my bandmates, I got off said ass and spent the last several days 1) compiling not one, but two collections of my poems; 2) formatting same in a 5.5" x 8.5" layout, and writing a few more poems to fill some holes; 3) designing covers; and 4) embarking on much research and development to figure out how to make it all into books without spending all the profits.

The short result of these long hours is... Dar has gifted me with a coil binding machine, which retails for $650 but which Chris found, new, on eBay, for $245. It's arriving next week, as are the coils. I have the master and Rose has a laser printer. I'll get the inside photocopied from my printed master. The covers may be done by an actual printer, whom I have to contact Monday for a quote. Chris might be able to do them otherwise, although his color laser printer tends to jam with cover stock. So that's still pending. But I can bind them myself, and I'll slip them into little clear plastic bags, fold over the top, and seal them with stickers I made which are miniature versions of the color photos on the fronts.

I called Rose finally today, to tell her I was doing all this. I hoped she wouldn't be disappointed that I'd gone ahead with it on my own. We've been talking about this Sisters project for so long. But this enables me to keep the groups of poems intact, and it means I get something onto the CD table soon. As it turned out, she was thrilled that I'd done all the legwork and now we have a clear avenue to manufacture our joint book. Or, she might recompile some of hers into a solo book.

The next thing I did was upgrade my PayPal account to a Business account. The books will be on the band website and I want people to be able to pay online. We're having so much success using PayPal for our CDs, our CD Baby sales have plummeted. I think it's just more streamlined for people, and maybe they feel they're really dealing with us instead of a third party. CD Baby is an amazing and benevolent organization, though, I must add.

I've been totally immersed in this. It's felt so good to be writing and to be creating a solo project again. I haven't written a great deal besides songs and poetry, but I did write a couple of plays in my life, and I remember how exciting it was to be thinking about it all the time, seeing how it unfolded before me; even just looking at blank paper was a thrill. As a child, when mom would take me to the BX (Base Exchange, for those of you not in the military), I would wander over to the office supplies and gaze at the paper and writing implements, loving looking at them, imagining what could be written on all those blank pages. Stationery. Remember stationery, when we wrote actual letters? I loved it. I still get the same rush in front of the computer. I want to write and write and write.

But not always, apparently, in my diary. There will be some holes in the next few weeks owing to travel anyway; we leave Thursday for Texas. I'm bringing a different "me" to Austin this time, I feel. Something has opened up, an affirmation is being answered, and my voice is soloing in the choir.

********

Dar is visiting tomorrow. We'll go to Rose and Mike's for dinner, though they'll have eaten a huge brunch somewhere so we may just bring some food with us. I drove out to see Steve yesterday (who is still basically seeing out of one eye) and we went to Capote. I can't recommend it enough. Just a wonderful, riveting character study. Anyway, Dar needs a little cheering, as his most beautiful mamma kitty is not doing so well. I'll make him cookies and give him a Reiki treatment.

Right now my feet are so cold I can barely feel them; time to sit in the kitchen and read Sherlock with the heating pad over them.

By the way, Mehiel, thank you for the touching way you described my life. It made me envious of myself, when usually I just see the struggle and the scatteredness of it all. And, though it's belated owing to my not being here much, warm congratulations on your sparkly! :)