November 14, 2005

9:47 p.m.

Some Pre-T'giving Turkey

I slept in this morning until almost 10:00, and awoke with an uncharacteristic amount of energy. There were some dreams, but quickly gone. I remembered to do my little ritual affirmations first thing, for a change, and soon after breakfast went out (zealously) on errands.

One contributor to the positive mood, certainly, was that some checks finally came in for which I'd been waiting. I hadn't made any deposit in quite a while, and this covered about two weeks' worth of income (in an ideal, or at least financially adequate, world). I'm not ahead of the game, just less behind; but I'll survive another month anyway.

I started taking CoQ10 a couple of weeks ago, in which I've believed for a long time; I think that's helping some too. It's not cheap, so I'd let it go for a few years; but as it assists the movement of oxygen into and out of cells, and as one's body makes less of it as one ages, I do think it's helpful to take it.

So I went to the bank and to CVS and to the post office; we've received orders the last couple of days for a total of 12 CDs, so I sent those out, plus some photos and posters. Hit the grocery store, came back and chopped vegetables like mad, threw everything into the slow cooker for a turkey stew, and then headed out to the dentist to, finally, get my crown put on.

I practically wore that temporary crown down to nothing. I mean, it had a cavity and everything. It had come off twice since the root canal, I'd gone back to have it reaffixed, and in between times it got scraped out and filled back up with cement. I think it deserved a little medal or something. But now I have a nice, shiny, toothy-looking crown that actually meets up with the tooth below it, and chews food properly (although I still am not remembering that I can chew on that side now).

Then I went ahead and got impressions made for a mouth guard.

Most mornings I wake up clenching my teeth, with an awareness that my jaw has been clenched for some time. Occasionally I'm actually chewing. It's had some effect on my enamel at this point, so the mouth guard will prevent any further damage.

We have so many ways of expressing our stress.

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The turkey stew was wonderful, and I made cornbread. And chewed on both sides.

My only disappointment was that I wasn't given a tiara with my crown.

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Meanwhile, I spent a good part of yesterday with Steve, who looks like he got into a bar fight. Unlike the first operation, this one left him with a black eye that's barely open. We had a nice afternoon; I read to him extensively from the nomad book, and cooked a beef stew in the slow cooker all afternoon; then did some Reiki on him as he lay on his side on the couch. He had visions that he described like this: "A parade of white statue-like creatures, only they were all sorts of different animals. But they kept changing, as from one angle one would be a fish, but then from another angle it would be a dog." I thought it was a message about the inter-relatedness of all things. He said it was a very pleasant experience.

On the way back I stopped at Rose and Mike's to pick up some asthma meds. Though it was just after 9pm, they'd already gone to bed, after clearing the yard of leaves for eight hours. Arthur the cat came down by himself to greet me, but recoiled at the smell of my hands, which, I assume, were redolent of Steve's dogs.

Now that we're not dating any more, and he doesn't feel obliged to impress me, his house is reverting back to its usual, smelly, dusty state. I mean, dust and hairballs the size of Honshu. Sticking to clothes, furniture. Mouse poops along the kitchen counter. I brought my own utensils for the most part, and scrubbed the bejeezus out of a cutting board he had there (the one that wasn't mildewy. What is it with guys, anyway?). Luckily it was a warmish day, so we opened the sliding door to let some fresh air in.

And tomorrow I have half planned to go to Manchester and get my oil changed and take care of a couple of other car things... but I just don't want to. I'm going to Rose's for dinner, but I want to spend the afternoon at home. I might, even though I'm overdue for the oil change.

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A day doesn't go by that I don't think of Will. I think of him every single day. Just mulling, just pondering. It's the kind of thing that ripples one's whole life.