April 21, 2005

11:11 p.m.

Still Here

After asking D'land twice or thrice about the logistics of setting up a second diary here (like, does my goldmember account cover it as well as my original one?) and getting no answer, I'm still hanging out here in Bornearly land. Does anyone know anything about this?

And I've just moved on a bit, it seems. I haven't been updating and I miss the little family feeling I used to have when I pecked away every day at this. But I still have been busy; in addition to touring and squeezing in time for my squeeze (things going very well, incidentally), I went on a personal retreat at a hermitage cabin last week, for four days. I wanted to deal with some issues of anger and forgiveness, relating to people like Will and my puzzling, deceased father. A friend who is into astrology suggested I take a drawing tablet and draw myself as whatever archetypes I identify in the situations in question, as a way of clarifying and bringing to the surface my particular reality. It was not only helpful but rather fun, even though most of the compositions were either gruesome or full of torturous grief. By the second day I started taking black and white digital photos of myself to use as a model, since it's a lot easier to draw from a picture where the proportions are correct, the light is consistent, etc. I can't post much here because, well, I was actually naked in most of them (symbolic of emotional vulnerability, plus the clothes I brought weren't very interesting), but here's one of Will in his starring role:

I was particularly proud of that one.

In other news, I'm loving my Reiki attunement and have scheduled the 2nd level training for the end of May. My finances are pitiful at present. I haven't been this close to broke for several years. I have declared a moratorium on buying anything other than gas and food (ice cream is food, right?). So somehow I'll scrape up the money for this course and then, perhaps, feel a bit better about starting to charge people a little for Reiki treatments. It's sooner than I envisioned but, hey, even if I don't have all the depth, subtlety and knowhow that I'll have a year from now, it's still effective and my time is worth something. Oh, and I don't want to live on the street. So fork over.

I also have to order a portable table, which I'll charge. I just paid off my credit card...

Band strategy talks this week, too... we all seem to be on the same page as far as that's concerned. We figure we're good through '08 anyway. That'll see us through the CD we're making now, and maybe the documentary we're dreaming of making (my boyfriend {how weird to write that word}'s a filmmaker), or maybe a live CD in a couple of years. By that time I rather expect to be living with Steve, treating lots of Reiki clients, and selling my unbelievably clever and stunningly beautiful and compelling drawings in galleries across New England. And by that time, if we don't get thoroughly burned out beforehand, we'll be ready to stay home year-round, I expect. Hell, I'm almost ready for that now.

Having said that, we're gigging in CT and NJ this weekend, then a couple things in MA next week, then a Maryland festival, then a ridiculous tour comprising Wisconsin and North Carolina. Wisconsin and North Carolina. Um... right. We'll be visiting with my bandmates' relatives in between, so at least we won't have to pay for hotels. But it's a shitload of driving for a week and a half. Then in June we're in Texas for a week, playing a low profile gig at a high profile festival, midweek, for almost no money so we'll lose on that trip. After that things get slower for the summer; it'll be a relief; I'll get to see Steve more... but I also won't be making much moolah... line up those Reiki clients!

Tomorrow I'm meeting Dar in Boston, to see a matinee of a silly but possibly very clever show he's in, and then we're going to pick up statuary, and then he's taking me to see a scathingly funny gay theatre troupe's takeoff on Streetcar Named Desire... I think it's Trolly Named Denial or something. It'll be a long-ass day and I didn't get enough sleep last night as it is, so I think I'll try to turn in before midnight. Here's a parting glance from my little hermitage cabin in the woods. I hope you all are well, D'land siblings.