November 10, 2004

11:48 a.m.

My 200th Entry

Thanks to Bindyree's powers of observation, I can share this birthday of sorts with you. Does this mean I'm 2? Anyway, I'm surprised to find I've made this many entries, but pleased.

No big event though, just life going on as it should. I spent two days in Bloomfield at the band's house, making an arduous stab at recording (didn't get any keeper tracks) and working up showcase sets for this weekend's Folk Alliance, where we've finally won a formal showcase on the mainstage. It really is useful for me to be there for two days in a row, staying overnight, though I resent not being in my own home.

My own home, which was about 55 degrees inside when I woke up this morning. We're having a November cold snap, and today is the day I'm putting shrink plastic on the windows. I can turn the two heaters on (one on the kitchen, one in the living room; nothing in the bedroom or bathroom) and toast the place up in ten minutes, but my office remains the most remote. I've been working in here all morning, with the door closed and the little ceramic heater on from time to time. I can't get my feet warm, but the rest of me is okay. I'm still trying to be meagre with the gas usage.

Spirits are generally good, though I'm lonely at night. Urged by several friends, and out of curiosity, I went to eHarmony the other night and put in my specs for a prospective date. (They let you do this without actually signing up.) One hundred scary pictures came up of guys between 40 and 49, with profiles that were consistently either illiterate or banal. I had to look at them through my fingers. It was worse than watching a Red Sox game. I kept murmuring in a high, soft voice, "I'm frightened, Auntie Em, I'm frightened!" I just can't do it. I'd rather watch movies alone in my living room for the rest of my life.

In apartment news, I got a rug for the kitchen which I love, and a tall, narrow cedar cabinet for same which I have to put together, but probably not today.

In culinary news, I made my World's Best Turkey Burgers last night on the Foreman Grill, and rainbow chard with garlic and balsamic vinegar, and am soon going to have leftovers for lunch.

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I feel different these days. I feel myself emerging into middle age, I think. I don't mean that in a bad way. But I think of my mother, living alone for so many years after she and dad split up, fending for herself in uncountable ways. There is a sense that I am following her. It brings her near to me in a comforting way.

I'm sure I have more to say about this, but my list is still long for today, so will muse on it later. Thanks for reading, those of you who have walked with me. I hope it continues to be fun and edifying.