November 03, 2004

8:10 a.m.

At Least the Red Sox Had a Good Year

It is a sad, sad day for the United States. I can hear all my beautiful gay and pagan friends weeping. I hear the earth weeping. I'm still wondering things like what happened to those 100,000 absentee ballots that mysteriously never got sent to voters in time for the election.

When you wonder how an illiterate, arrogant, fork-tongued dunderhead can gain the presidency whether he wins the popular vote or not, remember how much we in America love Britney Spears and Wal-Mart. We bow to the lowest common denominator. That describes Bush in a nutshell.

I'm sorry. I didn't vote for him.

Four years. If we're still alive then, I'm holding out for Hillary Clinton.