April 25, 2004

10:49 p.m.

The Power of Naps

I could get used to taking naps every day. Around three o'clock, preferably. I took more naps in the last week than possibly in the last year. While in Vermont we stayed with my dyke minister friends for two nights, and since we didn't have to drive in between, there was time for a nap. They live in what was originally an old schoolhouse, since renovated and expanded. There's an inground pool in back, and a tennis court. All this luxury, and the work on the house, is courtesy of an inheritance. "We're downwardly mobile," they said. "Let's live it up now, because this is our one chance."

Raleigh and Sheila minister in different churches. Sheila's an ex-biker Jew from Brooklyn who turned Christian and left her racy ways behind. Well, almost. She still rides a motorcycle, gets plotzed occasionally and, when in a passion, suddenly develops a distinct accent. She's the only person in the world I really don't mind hearing talk about Jesus, possibly because every time she references God it always comes out as "She." And she tells very funny stories. Raleigh used to be a dancer, and has also studied architecture, so she designed the renovations in the house. Sheila was telling us about it, and how she herself has no decorating sense whatsoever. She shrugged. "I'm a dyke!" she said. "Dykes paint everything Navajo White. Raleigh paints like a gay man." The house looks fabulous.

Anyway, I started talking about naps. I slept on a twin futon in R's office. I only had to dodge a little wildlife. There's a ladybug nest somewhere, maybe in the roof, and they keep dropping in. I'd go out for a while and find a couple new ones on my bed, and a few more on the floor. There were also wasps but I only found two inside. The first one I maimed in a panic because it landed on me, and then felt terrible about it afterwards, as it would have been so easy to just put it outside the French doors. The second one I just set free. The ceiling of the office is the apex of the roof, all wood and beams, so I couldn't even really see all the way up, and kept imagining wasp nests in the crevices for a while.

But I got over that, and it was a great room to sleep in. Even though the second night was a lot cooler, and what I had taken for a wood stove actually turned out to be a gas heater on a thermostat, with one of those fake woodpile things inside the glass doors so when the jets come on you think you're having an actual wood fire. It had been off the whole time, and about 3:15 in the morning I was awakened by a loud whoosh and the room suddenly becoming very bright. My eyes popped open, and about 18" from my head was this big FIRE. It took me a few seconds to realize what was happening, and I didn't know how to turn it down or off, so I just got up and moved the mattress away from it so my hair wouldn't fry.

Other than that, sleeping was good. That and the wasps and such. Really, it was a good place to sleep.

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I got in about 1:30 this morning, earlier than I expected after the long drive home. On I-91, someone passed us driving in the WRONG direction. I mean, we were headed southbound, and someone was in our lefthand lane, but going north. Chris's cell phone wasn't receiving there but mine was, so I got to call 911 and report it. They kept taking my info and transferring me to various police type people, who took my info and transferred me again. A few minutes later we saw flashing blue lights headed northbound. What a bizarre feeling it is to see lights coming at you when you imagined you were all safe and cozy in your 75-mph trajectory. After I hung up, I noticed that in the place on my phone display where it normally says "Ready," it kept saying, "Emergency Mode." I wondered if they could tell where I was from my phone signal. I finally turned it off.

While at our friends' house we got to walk down to the local Quaker farm and pick up some incredibly fresh eggs. "These eggs are so fresh," Raleigh said, "they have schmutz on them. You have to wash them off before you crack them. Sometimes theyr'e still warm." We encountered pigs and chickens looking very mellow and friendly, a baby Suffolk Punch horse, equally mellow and very stocky and fuzzy, and someone's puppy, maybe a Border Collie mix. And one human. We picked up a couple of dozen eggs and took them back for a big-ass Vermont breakfast of pancakes and scrambled eggs. Divine, especially after the pre-breakfast walk.

Now I'm house sitting for Rose while they're in California on vacation. Only one dog is in residence; the other two are with a friend. So I get to feed a cat and a dog and use exercise equipment and watch tv, and during the day go to my own apartment to "work." I actually have a bunch of things to do this week, but I can't really do it from here, so I have to "go to work" like other people do. But I can set my own hours, and work half days if I want -- that sounds good. Also have to get the car oil changed. Then when I come back here, I'm not at work. Unlike when I'm home, when I'm always at work, and when I'm not working I'm just taking a little break. Hahahahahahahahaha.

There is also unlimited wine here, and various interesting vegetarian nugget thingies in the freezer. And, of course, internet access.

Oh, yeah, we also had some gigs. They were rather incidental compared to the other stuff.

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I gained 2-1/2 pounds recently, after floating gradually back up to what I originally named as my goal weight, so now I must remember about portion control again. I just remember the last two trips people have been handing us large trays of brownies and crap (I am not making this up, large trays of brownies and crap) and they don't understand when we say there's too much of it and we're always confronted with cake and so forth and they think they're being kind and giving us a treat. What they're giving me is a wedgie. It wasn't that long ago that my diet was really pristine. I just keep dangling that carrot in front of myself that says, "Okay, SOMEDAY YOU'LL HAVE SEX AGAIN AND WON'T IT BE NICE TO LOOK HALFWAY DECENT WHEN THAT VERY SURPRISING MOMENT ARRIVES?" And then I wonder if Will will ever kiss me again or if he even thinks I'm attractive, and then I wonder if I shouldn't be finding other people attractive besides him and why it always defaults to him anyway, and then I think about not having seen him since February and how that is sort of like being on a diet, not seeing him hardly ever, and how I've gotten used to being on this diet so it shouldn't be so hard to stop eating brownies and carrot cake and crap even when I'm on the road. Regardless of whether I ever have sex again or not.

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To my credit, I have started working out again.

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Chris and Carol are off to visit their respective ailing parents this week, Chris in South Carolina and Carol in Florida. Even though there are two mailings, a 1500-recipient newsletter and some press releases to go out, and even though Dar and I are visiting for part of Wednesday, I plan to take naps every day. I think consistency and a regular schedule are important in life. They build integrity and character. And lately I've been hearing those tones again as I fall asleep, which only happens when I'm really tired, and I love them.

*yawn* And having said that, I sign off.