February 03, 2004

11:33 p.m.

Intrepid Explorer

...Internet Explorer, that is, and not so much intrepid as insufferable. Last night I'd gotten back from Florida, with a mountain of work to do, and I really wanted to get online and take care of a few things (and have some Diaryland r&r) and suddenly IE wouldn't open. At all. I just got an error message. So I called tech support and waited the requisite eternity on hold, and the technician had me try a couple of things which didn't work, and he finally decreed that I needed an IE upgrade. I couldn't get online to download it though, so I had to wait until today when my brother in law could send it to me via email. I upgraded and was able, after getting and closing the same error message about forty-seven times, to bring up the web. Now, however, it won't come up again, and I have waited almost an hour on hold again with another technician, and he's discovered that some sfc file is missing in my computer and he's looking up what to do about that. While I'm on hold. I'm grateful that the music isn't playing any more (it's only about an eight minute loop, and I heard it at least eight times. The music is distorted and irritating.)

Okay, this is a few minutes later. He had me try something which said I had a missing file, so he asked me to find the Windows Me CD. I have that. It should be right with all the other CDs that came with the computer. But I couldn't find it. Anywhere. I turned the office upside down, while he said, "Don't worry, take your time. I'm just here, I'm not in a hurry!" I wanted to say, "Yeah, that's why I had to wait AN HOUR to talk to you!" But I was cheerful, and said I couldn't find the CD. He said perhaps he could ship one to me. I asked how quickly he could get it here. He said, "That's what I'm wondering; let me check," put me on hold again, and in about a minute I heard the dreaded silence that comes before the dial tone that indicates one has been cut off.

I got cut off! After an hour waiting, and ten minutes trying fruitless measures!

Then, whining and wanting to take a machine gun to MacDonald's, I pawed through some more stuff and FOUND the Me CD. I called back. Went through the menus, which by now I've memorized (main number - three - four - express service code - one). Waited about seven minutes, listening to awful (and horribly familiar) music, and then heard a ring. Then a silence.

"Hello?" I said. A faint, female voice, said tentatively, "Hello?" "...Is this Dell Tech Support?" I queried.

Eerie silence. Click. Dial tone. I was cut off AGAIN.

It's now 10:30. I've been dealing with this since 9:00, with a great deal more work to do, and now I'm on hold again. The recorded voice is giving me hints, every fifteen seconds or so, about how to fix common problems myself so that I don't have to bother technicians with my silly interruptions to their unhurried lives.

I liked the first technician. He didn't have much of an accent and I could understand everything he said. Even though I didn't catch his name because when he finally came on the line I was starting to masturbate because I'd run out of other things to do to pass the time, so I wasn't paying very close attention, and besides that I had the headset a little off my ear because the distorted music on hold is always louder than the technicians' voices. But he exuded confidence and was very courteous. I felt he was working with me. Who knows whom I'll get next. I need someone who will give me the impression that they can fix the problem. Preferably tonight.

Now the music has changed to a sad violin/piano duet. This cosmic joke is not lost on me.

Earlier tonight, I made the mistake of deciding to transfer my journal from 2002 to the bookcase in my bedroom, to make a little more room in the office desk. On the way I opened it, and then for the next hour and a half I had to reread most of it -- the whole Will era and everything surrounding that, my mother's death, the move here. There were a few things I'd forgotten, which clarified the big picture a little.

Now the violin has perked up, and is positively peppy.

...Now it's 11:10, and I finally got another tech on the line. His name was Curtis and he was American. He was very helpful and somehow, though neither of us knew exactly how because several other things didn't work, now IE is working. He gave me his email address and said if it goes down again to email him so I don't have to wait on hold any more. His last name is the same as mine. I want to date him.

I'm afraid to close IE in case it won't come up again, so I'm gonna hot sync this from my Palm so I can upload it now before anything ELSE interesting happens. Maybe next time I'll get around to talking about Florida; meanwhile I'll try to get a picture up here for now.

I've missed you.